Every so often you come across information that makes
this world feel even more sideways that it usually does.
@Pontifex
Pope Francis, newly…um…crowned Bishop of Rome, is now
Tweeting. The most recent Pope Benedict, was the first Wearer of the Fancy Hat
to expand into the social media world, when the Vatican opened the @Pontifex
account in December, 2012.
It’s all very interesting, the Pope conducting his
religious business in this way, but it does cause me to wonder: exactly how
effective is a blessing after it journeys through cyber space? There is truly
some mysterious god-stuff at work here…
President Satan
The History Channel recently aired the mini-series The Bible. Some people say that the
actor who plays Satan resembles President Obama. While that may or may not be true,
there is something far more disturbing afoot. It is this: why in the name of
all reason was something called The Bible
aired on the History channel?
Traveling Transgendered
Trinidad, Colorado, has long been a center for sex-change
surgery. Does anyone but me think that this sign, posted on I-25 just at the
town’s limits, is hilarious?
Hello Mullah, Hello Fatwa
Osama bin Laden was a fanatic of the first stripe. He
refused to listen to music, lest it inflame his passions, and would not allow
his family or followers to use ice
because he thought it was too decadent.
And yet—and yet—it seems that one of
his favorite pastimes was…wait for it…volleyball. The crazy fuck loved to play volleyball.
Bacon Your Pardon
The bacon craze in this country simply has to stop. Every goddamn thing has bacon in
it now. Denny’s has a hot fudge sundae with bacon crumbled on top. There is bacon-flavored
chewing gum. There is bacon-flavored Cracker Jack. There is even a company out there marketing bacon-flavored condoms. Just, please, stop it! Or at least show some logic,
and make ‘em sausage flavored…
On April 2nd, Public Policy Polling released
the results of their poll on conspiracy theories. Feast your brains on a few of
the highlights:
·
Seven percent of Americans believe the moon
landing was faked.
·
29 percent believe in aliens/UFOs, and 21
percent believe that the government is hiding aliens in Area 51.
·
5 percent think Paul McCartney croaked in 1966
and was replaced with a double.
·
Another 5 percent think that the contrails left in
the sky by jets are actually chemicals being sprayed on the masses for
mind-control purposes.
·
Speaking of mind control, 15 percent of
Americans believe that the media adds mind-control signals to radio and TV
broadcasts.
·
20 percent think that vaccinations cause autism.
·
4 percent of Americans believe that an
interstellar race of reptilian beings take human shape and control the
government.
·
11 percent think the government allowed the 9/11
attacks to happen.
And…
13 percent of Americans believe that Barak Obama is the
Anti-Christ, while another 13 percent simply “aren’t sure” if he is or not.
My fellow Americans, could you please just take a few
minutes out of each day and try not
being so fucking American.
Sweet shit…
Cheers.
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